Happy Friday friends! Hope everyone enjoyed last nights jaw dropping episode of The Vampire Diaries. Let’s get right into things shall we?
This weeks flashforward features Damon and Alaric conversing in the kitchen, finally revealing who Caroline’s fiance is from a flashforward we saw weeks ago. Turns out three years in the future Caroline and Alaric are engaged! Now this seems like absolute INSANITY considering the state of relationships in present time, however this is The Vampire Diaries we’re talking about and pretty much ALL the relationships we’ve seen on this show are relationships we never would have seen coming. A lot of people are saying they’re pissed off about this because of the age difference between Alaric and Caroline, but apparently those people have forgotten that Stefan and Damon are both technically 160+ years old and no one had a problem with them dating/banging teenagers? So let’s just move on from that idiocy.
As the flashforward continues, Damon asks Alaric when the last time he heard from his fiance was as whoever is after Stefan is relentless and he’s worried that this mystery hunter is going to use Caroline as bait to lure Stefan out of hiding. Just as they’re about to try and contact Caroline, her voice flows into the room through the television set. She’s sitting in the news room and in a live broadcast she says “I have an urgent message for Stefan Salvatore.” and then it cuts to the title screen. WHAT. NOOOOOOO! What is the urgent message?! Is Stefan still in love with her? Is that why this hunter would use HER as bait? I’m so confused, I NEED ANSWERS DAMNIT!
So Stefan is dreaming about teaching his son Jacob how to shoot guns, which is pretty heart-wrenching as it’s blatantly obvious how much Valerie’s secret has fucked with Stefan’s head. Caroline overhears Stefan yelling “Jacob!” in his sleep, and tries to comfort him as he wakes up. To Caroline’s surprise, Valerie enters the room in nothing but a towel. Stefan tries to explain to a suspicious Caroline that she only stayed for the night, without actually explaining much of anything. This obviously only makes Caroline more insecure, and she comes up with the idea of getting Valerie far away from town.
Lily and her “family” of heretics have decided to throw a dinner party to show what peace between everyone in Mystic Falls could look like. Alaric is busy being a masochist and watching his wedding video when Bonnie calls to inform him that FauxJo is sitting next to her on campus holding her laptop like a book. Bonnie asks him to come get her immediately as she has a dinner party to get ready for. Stefan is happily getting ready for the party, the motivation to kill Julian obviously overwhelming. Damon enters the room as Stefan is tying his tie, to tell Stefan that he won’t be attending the evening’s dinner party. Damon’s plan is still to give Lily enough time with the love of her life to get attached to the idea of happiness before tearing it all away from her. Stefan however, has a much more pressing urgency to get it over with ASAP. Problem is, Stefan doesn’t tell Damon what’s going on until the end of the fucking episode, otherwise this motherfucker would have totally been dead tonight. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy kids.
Caroline is helping Valerie plan her relocation to a new city, and figuring out a new identity. But because her relationship with Stefan is uncertain, and on the rocks (in her mind) it seems Caroline has regressed to her season 1 self. Petty, passive aggressive, and tragically insecure. She suggests Valerie should change her name to Matilda Pettigrew from Liverpool England, and she should live as far away from them as humanly possibly; in Indonesia.
Valerie is equally as calculating and manipulative as Caroline though, apparently Stefan has a type? She dangles the fact that there’s something Stefan is keeping from Caroline, but doesn’t tell her what it is. Only that Stefan promised to keep her secret, but she didn’t think he’d keep it from his own girlfriend. At the boarding house the party is just getting started, Nora and Julian are having a conversation about how Lily is keeping a leash on the heretics that might be just a little too tight, Nora convinces Julian to have a chat with Lily about it. I’d like to touch on what’s probaby going to be an unpopular opinion, but I’m NOT enjoying Nora and Mary Louise together. Nora is a fucking awful bitch to her girlfriend, like seriously who treats their significant other the way she does? She belittles her constantly and I hope I’m not the only one growing tired of watching the dynamic between them.
Stefan arrives at the party to a house full of guests he doesn’t recognize, probably because Lily had to compel people to come. Surprise! Damon is already at the party, obviously to put a stop to Stefan’s plan to kill Julian tonight. Julian interjects their conversation, Stefan is sassy AF to Julian. In walks Matty Blue to the party, a face this show is still neglecting even though they gave him a shiny new badge and everything. Seriously, when is this guy going to get a storyline? Or just kill him off already? Matt tries to persuade Nora to ask his family to leave Mystic Falls, he’s suspicious of what is keeping them there as there’s no one to feed on. Mary Louise walks into the conversation and is yet again, snubbed by her girlfriend. EVEN THOUGH SHE CHANGED HER DRESS TO IMPRESS HER, so typical.
Enzo arrives at the party with a surprising date – Bonnie Bennett. Don’t worry, she’s as blindsided about it as we all were too 😉 Lily says she hopes Bonnie is willing to start fresh, Bonnie more or less tells her to shove it. Meanwhile the Salvatore’s are indulging Julian in the most passive aggressive game of pool the world has ever seen. Across town Alaric finally arrives to pick up his wife, this is when Jo begins coughing up blood. Uh oh!
Back at the party, Lily makes her speech where she talks about her hopes of restoring the town to a state of peace. Julian reveals to Beau that he believes his time in the Phoenix Stone might have changed him, he’s concerned he’s different. He asks Beau to help him find Oscar’s automobile saying that it will provide him with some relief from whatever seems to be going on in his head, Enzo overhears this conversation and looks pleased with himself for doing so. A very awkward and stiff interaction between Julian and Enzo takes place before Bonnie steps in. Bonnie realizes Lily is watching them, and provides Enzo with a stellar wingman move, adjusting his tie and looking up at him creating so much sexual tension that I literally think I could have cut it with a knife.
Alaric now has Jo safely back at home, with Caroline and Valerie. As Jo’s condition continues to worsen, Caroline feeds her some blood in hopes that it will heal her. Jo throws the blood back up, Valerie finally pipes up that perhaps a vampire soul in a human body doesn’t work very well. The fact that Alaric will once again have to say goodbye to his wife has become increasingly apparent. Seriously, can we just get this guy a woman who lasts? Back at the party Mary Louise and Julian have a little talk about her shitty relationship, Julian suggests that she’s gone soft and it’s no wonder that Nora is bored. She breaks Lily’s rule of “peace-keeping” and feeds on the help, goes upstairs and grabs her girlfriend for a surprise make out session.. #badass. Upstairs Bonnie has a very strange run-in with a teenage boy who insists she tell him where the high school is, he’s unable to tell her why he needs to know or who he’s been talking to. Naturally Bonnie suspects he’s been compelled and she asks Matt to join her in following him to the school. Meanwhile Stefan and Damon are checking out all the changes mommy has made to Damon’s bedroom while Stefan continues to pussyfoot around the massive piece of information he’s keeping from Damon. Matt walks in drinking Damon’s good bourbon, which has been laced with vervain, obviously Damon doesn’t realize this until it’s too late and Stefan manages to inject him with more vervain so he can carry out his plan to kill Julian. Now we all know that Stefan isn’t exactly the most successful when it comes to devious schemes, so unsurprising that his attempt to kill Julian isn’t only pathetic, but very unsuccessful. Jesus Stefan, when will you learn that when it comes to murder.. your brother is just always going to be better than you?
When Damon finally wakes up he makes his way to the kitchen to catch Stefan carrying out his fail of a plan. Julian sits them down and tells them just how bad his time in the Phoenix Stone was, it’s pretty similar to a prison world.. but every day you have to kill the person you love the most. So naturally most of the souls go absolutely bat shit crazy. He shows how crazy he’s gone when he attacks Stefan mid speech, they end up in a fight complete with throwing each other into glass cupboards etc. Lily clearly doesn’t recognize this Julian and tells the boys to leave immediately.
Enter the saddest scene of the night, “Jo” remembers who she is.. turns out her name is Florence. She tells Alaric that she’s sorry she isn’t his wife, and that he would have made an amazing husband. Alaric cries uncontrollably while thanking her for giving him the chance to say goodbye, and to hear her voice again. BRB CRYING FOREVER <//////3
At the high school Bonnie and Matt discover a classroom full of people that have clearly been compelled to be there, hooked up to IV drips. What are they there for? No idea, probably for the heretics to feed on. Either way, it was fucking creepy. Meanwhile Valerie picks an incredibly insensitive time to watch Alaric and Jo’s wedding video, but it turns out she’s not just being a raging bitch.. she recognizes the chant the gemini coven are doing in the background, turns out they weren’t sending Kai anywhere.. they were saving Jo’s babies. Finally Stefan and Damon have a heart to heart conversation about whats really going on. Damon finally gets up to speed on the whole Valerie was pregnant with Stefan’s baby thing, this leads to a conversation between the brothers about how they both would love to be fathers. Which was a super painful conversation to watch 😦 Damon agrees that if Stefan wants to kill Julian, he is 100% on board whenever Stefan is ready.
So the big cliffhanger this week was actually something I’d already posted about on my instagram weeks ago, Valerie does a location spell on Alaric’s babies. Turns out they’re INSIDE CAROLINE! Clever, now Candice can be pregnant on the show and they won’t have to find creative solutions around it. But is this why Caroline and Alaric end up engaged three years down the road? Do they really fall in love after Stefan does something idiotic with Valerie? Is the marriage just a way to protect the twins? SO. MANY. QUESTIONS!
So all in all, decent episode.. I’ll give it an 8/10.
Thanks for reading, I’ll see you guys next week!
XO – TheLevelHeadedFangirl.